November 2nd is Dia de los Disfuntos, or "Day of the Departed". My host family did not partake in any festivities here on the island, but my host dad is planning on flying to Guayaquil this coming weekend to visit his mother's grave. Abby, Emily and I decided to jump in a taxi and head up to the cemetery to meet Abby's host family and check it out. We really had no idea what to expect, except for a lot of people in the cemetery.
What we found when we jumped out of the cab was a busy street lined on either side with vendors selling roasted pig, empanadas, ice cream, almuerzos, fake flowers and candles. We walked down a slight hill to find the cemetery.
The cemeteries here have the graves above ground in white cement mausoleums, some that are bigger than some student's houses. This past week the people here have been working to clean the cemeteries for today. Today the cemetery was bustling with people, with everyone from infants to elders. I expected it to be fairly quiet and depressing, but kids were running around the graves with ice creams and people were conversing amongst themselves. The cemetery looked beautiful and was filled with life.
Each compartment within the mausoleum is cemented shut about 2 feet from the edge, creating little shelves. Each of these little shelves was decorated with various flowers, candles, pictures and, in some cases, the departed's favorite foods. Abby's host dad explained to us that it is a celebration of the departed's life and their accomplishments. Lots of families gather at (and on) the tombs of their loved ones and decorate the graves. When we got to the cemetery a mass was being held in the center. As the mass went on more and more people joined in the celebration.
When I spoke with my host dad earlier that day, he asked me if in the US we have a holiday similar to Dia de los Disfuntos. I explained that we don't and that most people visit the deceased throughout the year, especially on the anniversary of their death. As I explained it to him you could tell that he was puzzled by this.
As I spoke about it with friends we realized that in the US we look at death as a tragedy and something that is not talked about much. Here it is the opposite. When someone dies they celebrate the life they had and each year visit their graves with gifts and food to reminisce on the good times. I think the part that really impacted me were three little girls sitting on a tomb looking at the shelf. It made me wonder how much they actually know about the person buried there and how much they know about the holiday. I feel that in the US it would be considered disrespectful to sit on a loved one's grave giggling and eating ice cream, but here it a norm. Made me wish we had a day similar to this in the US to celebrate, rather than mourn, the life that the deceased lived. It would make it easier to talk about, and quite possibly lessen the fear associated with dying.
I am very glad that I got to experience this holiday first hand after learning about it numerous times in Spanish class. It is completely different than anything in the US, but it's these differences that makes each country and their culture unique.
On a funny note, here is an adorable sea lion who positioned herself perfectly to use the rock as a pillow:
Until next time, Chao :)
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